Taking Time for Me

The last couple weeks I have been completely consumed, wrapped up and busy with school. I'm sure I've mentioned before but I'm taking 3 classes this semester. Two of which are online and the Third meets twice a month on Saturday's for 8 hours. The work load of the assignments in themselves have been a handful. Lets not forgetting the actual reading, learning and remembering part of it. Often I would find myself simply trying to complete the assignments on time that I wouldn't even take much from the lesson / module for the week. That's not the way it should be. This is the first time I've taken three classes at once, but I can almost guarantee that it'll be the last time. On top of working full time, its just a lot to take on.

I spend my lunch breaks working on homework here at work, typing up assignments, doing research to complete a paper. I haven't really been taking my lunch break to have a break and step away. Most day's I come to work between 7:15 and 7:30 and I don't leave the building that day until I am going home. Many nights as late as 5:30pm.

I've decided to put a stop to it, well a little at least. I need to take time for me, I need to get out of the building, I need to get fresh air, I need to put the computer down and walk away from my school work every once in a while. Classes end the first of May and won't pick back up till the mid August but we've got some things going on right now and I know life isn't going to slow down.

I've decided to make more time for me. I need to, it'll be good for my soul and those around me. But mostly for me.

Last week on my lunch break I went up to Dunbarcave. It's a local park less than half a mile from were I work. There's picnic tables, walking / running trails, a cave to explore and much more. I was planning on just walking the long loop but something sparked me when I was leaving on my lunch and I decided to run it. Boy was it ruff but I felt great afterwards. Nothing like a good trail run to get your heart pumping and your blood flowing.

Yesterday I decided to grab a sandwich from Jimmy John's and go to Dunbarcave for lunch. It was such a beautiful day out. The sun was shinning, the temperature was perfect. It was so peaceful and quite just to be outside away from work and the hustle of life. I'm pretty sure it made my sandwich taste even better because it left me wanting more.

I've defiantly decided that I will be doing this more often. I'm planning on taking one day a week and getting out of the building and going to do something for me. Even if it is just up to Dunbarcave to have lunch by myself. It's well worth it. The school work will be there the next day and so will everything else. I need this, I need this for me. 

Life Happens....you've been warned...

....random update of life lately, it's kinda all over the place but wanted / needed to recap. 

Well....its been a bit uneventful but a bit over whelming here lately. Parts of me doesn't mind it but then other parts of me wonders how I've managed to take on so much. When in reality its not all that much at all. With work Monday-Friday and Classes 3 nights a week, my days are pretty full. When I don't have class in the evenings I generally stay late and close at work. I like having the option to stay and close if needed vs. being completely depended on. It makes for some really long day's either way I go but it beats sitting at home alone. Some nights when I don't have class or have to close I tend to find myself hanging out and chatting a bit longer at work. I don't always feel the need to rush home, I mean the pups are there but the nights are the hardest with the hubbs away and it makes for lonely evenings. In the mornings I get up work out and take the pups for their walk before going to work. Two reason: One-when I get off its already dark out so not really ideal for walking the pups. Darn you winter time change. Two-working out before work means if I wanna come home and be lazy I can. Most nights when I cook dinner I cook enough for me to have left overs for 2 maybe 3 nights. This helps my commissary budget, as well as keeps me from having to cook every night. I don't mind cooking at all, I actually love cooking. But the last thing I want to do when I get home from class at close to 9pm is to cook dinner and do dishes. So left overs are perfect for me right now. On the weekends I might cook myself a more time consuming / involved meal because I can take my time with it. 

If I typically have any running around to do or shopping I try to get it all done on Saturday mornings - mid afternoon after walking the pups. This way I have the rest of Saturday to work on my homework because lets face it these two classes have me swamped. I've been out of school for a hot minute now and trying to get back into the swing of things with classes and homework has had its challenges. I've started reading more for pleasure but this whole reading and having to write a paper on it is a totally different thing. It also give me time to do any hously duties I might need to do clean the house, straighten up. The dreaded laundry, its so easy to throw it in the wash, then dryer but I hate hate folding and putting it away. Sunday's I go to church, the early service which is at 8:30 and I'm usually home by 9:45, unless I go to Sunday School. After our morning walk around the neighborhood I'm back in my comfy clothes for the day, vegging out on the couch watching Netflix and Hulu. I'll try and make myself productive here and there but normally I have a completely lazy day. I haven't gone out and really done much lately other than a few random outings here and there. It's been crazy cold and then we will have days in the 50's, it almost reminds me so much of Texas weather. It's been quite a bit rainy here lately as well, I never knew it rained so much in TN. I'm so ready for it to warm up more. I absolutely hate hate the cold weather, that's what 3 years of living in Hawaii will do to you. 

I've slowly been knocking my To Do List down, little by little. Reminding myself everything doesn't have to be done at one time. But oh how I desperately wish it could be. I did finally get our taxes done this morning so that's taken care of. My homework assignments for this coming week are complete and just need to be typed. I'm headed to Nashville tomorrow for a birthday party for one of my kiddos and I'm planning on making a day out of it. Heading downtown right after church in the morning!! Life's been busy and chaotic but I wouldn't have it any other way. At least I'm making the most of my time through this deployment. 

Better than sulking and eating ice cream from the carton every night.

 I mean a bowl is so much more classy!!! Right!?!?!?

And because a post isn't complete with out a picture.....

I slipped on my boots and took the hubbs Glock and HK out for a little swirl last weekend to this lovely setting......

I may or may not share what went on that afternoon. I still haven't decided!!! 

2015 Goals

It's a New Year which means its the First Blank page of a 365 Page Book. So I'm planning on writing a good one.

I like to set Goals for the New Year (for both myself & us as a couple) over resolutions. Sure it's kinda the same thing, but a goal is something you can work towards and a resolution is something you completely change.

           *Goal- the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desire results
           *Resolution- a firm decision to do or not to do something

So my Goal's for the New Year 2015 are......(in no particular order)

*Get Outside More: walking the pups, going to the greenway, running, simply getting out of the house, enjoying the fresh air and beautiful sunshine.

*Dressing Up More: it's so easy to just put on a t-shirt and jeans and call it a day, i'm going to work on vamping up my wardrobe and dressing up more. i wear scrubs to work so dressing up when i do is fun, i just need to do it more.

*Saving- we have done really well with saving over the last couple years and have made a point not to touch or take from our savings account. we plan to continue to do so and add to it in the coming months / year.

*Getting Fit- not simply just working out, but a combination of things, eating healthier, losing a few pounds, working out, and continuing with my running. one of my 30 b4 30 things is to get in the best shape in my life. i need to continue cracking down on this one.
             :At the beginning of this deployment (#3 here, blah) I decided I was going to to completely give up Fast Food and Candy while the hubbs was away. Not that I ate much of it to begin with but I defiantly did. My only exception to this is I am allowing Jimmy Johns sandwiches. They are so fresh and yummy and not totally bad for you so I have allowed to treat myself to one every once in a blue moon. Other than that NO FF. I gave up soda completely 4 years ago today an I haven't had a sip since and it's such a wonderful feeling being able to say I don't drink it and haven't in 4 years.

*Wife / Spouse- my husband is the most important person in my life, (as to many / most people their spouse is their everything.) no different for me, i'd be lost with out that man and i want to give him the moon. he simply does anything and everything for me but we'll save all that for another post. we'll be spending a good majority of this year apart, but that doesn't make me any less of his wife. my goal is to become a even better wife, love and care for him like never before. i want us to date more, talk more, do more. the days that pass we'll never get back so i plan to take advantage of each one even more from here on out. he gives me 100% and i want to make sure i do everything in my power to give that back.

*Church- i've recently started going back to church and it's been great. apart of me hates that its taken so long, but better late than never right. its come with what i hope to be a great lasting friendship out of it. i want to truly focus on my faith and relationship with God and give me all in everything i do for him. its been missing in my life and it feels great to have that part of me back.

*Snail Mail- since being a milispouse and moving around every few years we have friends all over the states and even over seas. i plan to make it more of a habit to keep in better contact with the friendship i've built over the years. something about a letter or card coming through the mail is a bit more personal then a email or fb message.

talk about horrible timing…..

There's never a good time to have a wreck, no one ever says "oh this couldn't of happened at a better time." But there couldn't of been a worse time for this to have happen. 

Heading to lunch last week on my break from work I was going to meet my friend Jenna. We'd been trying to meet up for a week or so now and we finally found a date that fit us both. 

Sadly enough I didn't make that lunch date and now I have a week (God willing) to reschedule. 

Sitting at a red light waiting to turn left and the cars in the first lane coming my direction weren't going. I waited and waited and waited, finally I went…..I had a green light, they had a green light but no body was moving. Not thinking at all that a car could come from the other lane around the corner. It was a compete blind spot because the cars in the lane that weren't moving were large SUV's. It didn't even register to me that I couldn't see around them. I knew the cars in front of me weren't moving and I must have been clear to go. Boy was I wrong, WAY WRONG. I saw it all happen, as it was happening I was thinking there is nothing I can do, little did I realize it had already happened. I head it, it was so load. All the air bag deployed on the passenger side, my drive door one deployed and the one on the steering wheel deployed. There was dust / smoke from the inside of the airbags that filled my car. I could barley breath the smell was so bad. 

I was in complete shock, this did not just happen. She just hit me, yes it was my fault because I turned but really WHY….WHY ME!!!!!!! I sat there in my car for a minute to gather my thoughts before getting out. I walked around to make sure the other driver was ok and she was. Thank You Jesus! 

Walked back to my driver door and I heard someone yell my name, I look behind me and it was one of my co-workers Kristen. She's actually my assistant in my class.

She asked me if I was ok and I shook my head no, I was in complete shock. My wrist had swelled up like the size of a golf ball and I was worried sick that something was seriously wrong with it. She pulled her car to the side and got out. I had her call Jenna to let her know I wasn't going to be able to make it. I called the hubbs to let him know what happen and to tell him I was ok. (other than my wrist) I literally spoke to him for about 2 minutes and then had to let him go. 

I just kept telling Kristen "I NEVER GO THIS WAY", all because its easier to get to were I was going did I go that way. NEVER AGAIN, NEVER AGAIN. 

I've been in a fender bender before, been rear ended but nothing this major or serious. I was at a loss, even more so that my husband was FIVE HUNDRED + miles away. Kristen called the police and emergency responders to come. She then called work to let them know what was going on. Clearly I wasn't going to be able to make it back to work. BLAH, not what I need right now. I called Sarah, my friend that I'm staying with here in Cola. When she answered I asked her were she was, because I wanted / needed her. Her response was "on a school bus headed back from Z's field trip." My heart broke, I just wanted some one there. She immediately asked me if I was ok. Jenna had already called her and told her what happen, which she interned called Cory her husband and told him what happen. As soon as he heard he was on his way to the accident. I called Cory to find out where he was, and told him I needed him. I was hot mess, Kristen who was on her lunch break as well waited till Cory and Jenna showed up and then she left. While we were waiting for them to get there though I kept telling her that I didn't want to go in the ambulance by myself. I was seriously freaking out about the thought of having to go in the ambulance by myself but I knew I needed to get my wrist looked at. 

At this point I had kinda of gathered myself but then Cory showed up and I lost it again, falling on his shoulder. What am I going to do, my wrist, what about work I said to him. The police officer looked at C and asked if he was my husband, again hello water works. I looked at C, he looked at the Officer and explained that I was living with them and the hubbs was in TN. They agreed I needed to get my wrist checked out but EMS said they would not be able to take x-rays at the hospital because it was so swollen. They told me it was the blood vessels in my wrist that had busted. They said I could go to the hospital on post and C could take me. That seemed much more doable, no ambulance ride for me. The tow truck drivers arrived and pulled the cars apart. Hers looked a lot worse then mine once they were apart but still neither were drivable. Freaking out because I'm suppose to leave at the end of May to head to TN for good and now I don't know if that'll happen. WHY? WHY ME? WHY NOW?

Sarah and I had just talked over the weekend about how I had never had to go to Moncrief Hospital for a emergency or to the UCC. Well I guess God felt I needed to make a visit there before I left. After collectively about two hours, x-rays, and 3 different pain meds, my hand wrapped in a brace I was headed home. Nothing was broken which I was pretty sure of already. The swelling had gone down, but I needed to wear the brace to keep my hand and wrist from moving and control the bleeding inside my wrist. It hurt like crazy, the picture blow (is the next evening after it happened) does it no justice at all. As crazy as it sounds this looks good compared to the 3rd and 4th day. It was so purple and back and brown. I had fears of going to sleep because I wasn't sure what would happen. It was totally messing with my head. I took the next day, Wednesday off work to relax and recover a bit. Gave me a chance to get things figured out with my car as well. 

The following Monday I went over to the body shop were my car was to get a few things out of it and to sign the papers so they could start the repairs. When I walked in something to the left caught my eye through the window, I looked away and then back at the window. That looked like my car, so I walked over to the window and sure enough it was and I lost it. The tears started flowing, the gentleman behind the counter said you must be the owner of the Pathfinder. Yes, I am…..was it that obvious. 

He walked me out to the car and went over what needed to be done. He said that its a lot of little things that simply need to be screwed and bolted back on. A little body work but not a lot of major work. $11,300.00 worth of work, YIKES. He assured me that he is going to do whatever it is he can to get the car done by the 30th of this month. I've got my fingers crossed. I'm hoping and praying I have TWO interviews lined up for the following week in TN and I really don't want to have to reschedule. I've already notified them about what is going on and they were very understanding, which was a sign of relief. 

I keep reminding myself things could have been A LOT worse, we both walked away from the accident. My car is repairable and I've got some amazing friends here in the South that jumped and helped me with out any hesitation at all. 

As heart broken as I am to leave the South, I am so ready to get home to my husband. I talked to his mom the day after it happened and she said he told her he felt so helpless not being here to help me with everything. Breaks my heart!!! I miss my love more than anything.