Thursday, February 5, 2015

The Proposal

Knowing we wanted to get married and soon, I knew I had to fill in people that "needed" to know about us. So April came and I finally spilled. It was hard for me to open up to certain people about our relationship again because of a past experience. I didn't want to jeopardize our relationship at all because of someone else's manipulative actions. 
Summer was coming up and that meant he was getting block leave a whole two weeks. He was coming to Texas for a week and I couldn't wait. It was the week of July 4th. It was going to be the week when he finally proposed. (We had been talking about it so I knew it was coming) My only request was that he asked my step dad for his blessing and permission for us to get married. I knew that was something my s-dad would have wanted him to do. Regardless of his response or the out come we were going to get married, having his blessing on the whole situation would have just made things a little smoother. 

The day's went on and on, we were coming up on the end of his time in TX and still he hadn't gotten up the courage to talk to my s-dad about it yet. His second to last night in TX we were watching a movie and my s-dad told J to go in the garage to help my mom with something. I though it was very odd, I mean why didn't he go help her. Hello we're watching a movie here but whatever. The evening went on and I eventually had to take him back to his hotel were he was staying. 

On the way there he explained to me how he had asked my s-dad about us getting married. Instead of just making all three of our lives easy and agreeing and saying yes his response was...."You've gotta take that up with her mom." He replied asking if he'd be digging his own grave by asking her. 
We spent the whole drive back to the hotel trying to go over every single option and scenario possible. That was it, there was no way this was going to play out the way we had talked about and pictured. We might as well hang it and and go with plan B, I was frustrated beyond belief. (there's a whole back story to the way and reason's I felt the way I did and kept things the way I did but that's not for the blog, at least not now) How in the world could he leave it up to her. What was he thinking. I was heart broken and at a loss for words, he looked to me for encouragement. He said he needed encouragement and support to be able to go in the next day and talk to her about it. I had nothing, nothing at all. It was not a good place to be in. 

Sitting in the car in the hotel parking lot he took my hand and slipped off the ring he had mailed to me months prior. Said if he saw my hand with out the ring on it, it would help him find the courage to ask her. Next thing I know he's slipping my engagement ring on my finger, followed by "your mom said k". "Wait what, I'm not looking, take it off, you can't do this tonight, what are you talking about she said k, when? I don't understand." 
Mean while I'm sitting in the driver seat looking out the window with my eye's covered. He told me that apparently at some point that evening my s-dad had already gone and given my mom a heads up as to what they had talked about and that was why he had sent him into the garage so they could talk. That night in the garage he asked my mom and she said "k" along with something along the lines of "as long as you don't take here away". (the later part of the conversation I didn't find out about till months after we were married.) Really "k" was her response, typical. I told him that I couldn't go back to my house tonight with a engagement ring on my hand. I mean he had literally just talked to my parents about it. Don't ask me why but I couldn't talk to either of them about it at the time. Yes I know it sounds silly and getting engaged is suppose to be one of the happiest moments of my life and trust me it was. Chalk it up to my past and the experience's I had with previous relationship being ripped apart by someone who felt the need to have complete control over ever aspect of my life. So after much convincing I told him to take the ring off and ask me tomorrow. And that he did. 

He called J & A back in Hawaii and told them I said "no." For the record I did not say no, I never would have said no. I just asked him to wait till the next day. And he did. I picked him up that next day and we grabbed lunch for Schlotzsky's and headed to the park for picnic. It was then he asked "ok, can I give you the ring now, or are you going to say no again." 
I kindly excepted and we were Engaged. There was never a getting down on one knee "Will You Marry Me" moment but I was and am ok with that. From the beginning things were a little untraditional with our relationship, so why start now right. 
The day before and after we got engaged. I'll have to pull up my other pictures this weekend!!!
sidenote: I still to this day wear that very first ring he mailed almost 8 years ago on my right hand. Its nothing fancy at all. Its a thin band with 3 Hawaiian Hibiscus flowers on it. Its bent and molded to my finger and I never take it off. I'd be just as devastated if I lost it, as I would with my wedding rings. 

sidenote: There was never a moment when either of us asked each other out, or we became official boyfriend / girlfriend. We just kinda rolled with the punches and went with it. We've always said and celebrated November 29, 06 as the day we got together. The day of that random phone call that I never expected to get. 


Kate @ Daffodils said...

I am just catching up on your story- I love it! Kev and I also talked before being in a relationship (he was in Iraq and I was a senior in college..we sort of knew each other through our families but were a few years apart and randomly started emailing when he deployed). I remember how nervous I was the first time I went to see him because I didn't know whether we should kiss or not lol. We also never became boyfriend/girlfriend and were engaged within 6 months (and still dating long distance!) It really is true that when you know, you know.

Pamela said...

aww I love the date you chose to celebrate your dativersary! :) Loved reading these & getting to know yall even more!

Jamie said...


Brittany said...

Oh my gosh, how special! I love y'alls story. I think it's so sweet that you still wear that first ring...true love right there.